Do you ever wonder?

As I sit her on my lunch break at work....I really wonder

- what my child thinks about?
- what does she really see?
- does she really understand how much we love her?
- can she really hear what I am saying?
- will I disappoint her oneday?
- Am I really a mom?

the list goes on... I look into her big blue eyes and melt. It really hard to look at her and not wonder about the future and all it holds. She lights up our household when endless love, laughter, squeals, and screams. I am still completely amazed and stunned that Mich and I created her...my brain is still saying her parents are coming one day.

This morning was chaos. Lily Anne woke up early 5am! After a quick change, I brought her down stair to join Mich and I in the last hour of sleep. She was trying with all her might to get up with laughter and pokes. Finally, she gave in .... HEAVEN again. Only to over sleep! 6:45am, CRAP!!!. So, in the mad rush to get showered, ready, baby feed, dressed, pack the bags, and wisk out the door. I realized that I forgot my breakfast on the counter. Seriouly...so avoid listening to my belly, I reverted to singing (yes with my horrible singing abilities), Lily Anne lets me know that she is back there and I sounded horrible...that started talking to me (blabbing...and squeals and dada.), looks in the mirror in front of her, looks out the window, and plays with her feet. Thanks dear! ( guess that answered the does she hear question.)

What is going on????

Lily Anne is rejecting her morning bottle....no matter how or when (before or after solids)

I thought okay maybe she is weaning off the bottle. She loves the sippy cup of water or a hint of juice with water. So, I thought lets put formula in it for the morning...

okay so I tried the sippy cup thinking that would help. NEGATIVE!!!

She takes all the other bottles fine during the day and bedtime...

So, help me out...
**I have tried to give her bottle first thing then wait on breakfast solids .... still wants NO part of it.

Here is my schedule:
7:30 - Wake up - get dressed, brush teeth, go down stairs
7:45 - Breakfast - Fruit (with cereal) 4oz all together.Bottle (5oz) - REJECTING
8:30 - Out the door and off to daycare

**she is at daycare from 9am - 5pm M-F**
her general schedule at daycare:
9:00 - Plays and Learns
10:30 - 12 - Nap
12(there about) - Lunch - Veggie (3oz), Fruit (3oz), Bottle (6oz) - drinks all
12:30 - Plays and Learns (may go outside)
2/3 - 4 - NAP4(there about) - Bottle (6oz) - drinks all Few puffs(Gerber Graduates -sweet potato)
5:15 - I pick her up

6:30 - Dinner - Some type of Meal (4oz), Fruit (3-4oz). I give her a sippy cup of water or juice/water mix - 4oz.)
plays til bath time or lately we have been going on walks
7:45 - Bath
8:00 - Bottle (8ozs)
8:30 - Passed out in the crib for the night!

Time? Who stole my clock

Seriously!!! Time is going so fast now. As, Lily Anne picks up the pace on growing and learning, I am wanting things to slow down a bit.

She has been doing so wonderful since the tubes. We go for run/walk in the evening and she laughs and loves it. The faster I go the more enjoys. The feeling of wind rushing around her.

We are enjoying our new found life...dinner withe friends, shopping and just being out and about. Although, she does have some seperation issues...she does well in the mornings, but the evenings are bad. She is all good as long as I am around...but I leave and she melts.

She is letting my friends and neighbors touch and play with her. (FINALLY) There for a while I thought lord have mercy on me. Someone other than me or Mich would look at her ... she would have a ALL OUT SCREAM FEST! Now she will smile at a waitress and people in the grocery store. Such a personality change.

All Done!!!

Friday morning around 7:45am Lily Anne went for surgery on her ears. THANK GOD!!!

Wednesday we got the all care from her pediatrician, went to pre-op and got our scheduled time of arrival. Then the notice of nothing after midnight, which is fine during the night but in the morning I was going to be dealing with a hungry baby.....or so I thought.

Nah, Lily Anne woke up around 7;15am...happy as ever. So off to car we go and to the ENT surgerical center. (which I rave around) get in and all ready to go. Lily Anne is laughing and giving everyone smiles. I think she knew we were bringing her relieve to her pain.

here is the photos pre-op


And exactly 24 minutes later she was back in my arms. She was a little fussy from being knocked out on drugs...but she was not HORRIBLE but what I had been told was going to happen. Then we were release to go home....

BTW: Wednesday night was the last of the meds from the ear infection last week...Thursday no meds, Friday surgery.... Dr. Holms was not happy to tell us when he went in to do the surgery BOTH her ears were infected again. Thank you Thank you for doing the srugery adn may this bring relieve to our household.

Here is my new baby...Miss Happy. Crawling and getting into everything.

Even happy and well enough to play peek a boo with the camera and show her skills on walking with the walker.



So, this weekend was packed with as much as she could handle.
satuday morning nap...


Shopping with mom and dad...but had to stop and ride a toy...



tried to get some cute photos of her outside with the dog. Neither one wanted anything to do with photos...


I got some magnetic letters for Easter. She loves them...



Sunday ... Lindsay brought Tucker over to play and have dinner...Lily Anne is paci stealer!!!

Almost Wordless Wednesday...

Lily Anne is getting tubes in her ears on Friday! I am so ready it is not funny.

We went to her pre-op with her pedi this morning. She is good to go. Tomorrow it is the real pre-op with the ENT center. Then Friday AM is the big moment. I am hoping for the best.

Highlights...she is starting to babble .... DADADA it is so sweet and comoletely makes me melt.

Little facts.. Lily Anne weighed in at 17lbs, 9oz this morning (with a wet diaper and fully dressed). She is a little peanut!

Photos....so hard not share

After my very long wait...I picked up her photos on Friday afternoon. I was so excited...we previewed and order prints about 2 weeks ago.

We were 1 month delayed due to ear infections, then we were a week late on previewing...so after a ton of rescheduling...Here we are..

Sorry gang…took a momentary break…

We got 12 days of NO medicine and/or ear infection baby, then we got to pay yet again another on Sunday.... Copay of $25 and another round of drugs for a double ear infection…which was a one-way ticket to the ENT. Poor Lily Anne, those ears are going to be the death of us.

On the other news front, things are going good with the home front. Lily Anne has really taken to the eating solids nows. She loves her new highchair! Since our original one has been recalled…it was free so I did not have a huge fit.

Even as much as to say…Hey Mom …FEED ME!!!


First day of Spring…bare knees. She was so cute and learned how to pull up on my leg..



We have finally put in her new big girl carseat...I think she liked it.


Daddy has taught her how to make a popping noise with your cheek..which I got some really good photos in the process. CHEESE?!?



So, along with all the first … why not add..pulling up in the crib. Oh Lily Anne, please put on the breaks.


And we turned 8 months...it has gone so fast! Me and Mich are amazed each day we have with her and to be able to say she is all ours. She has grown so much...and the tings she has learned how to do, wow. Here are photos of her big day.



Zoe wanted to part take in the photos...and what Lily Anne was doing with the grass.


New jammies are always followed by a new do! She is finally getting some hair. Even enough for us to play with…do you like the spike look?


And one last for everyone…How old does she look?

Happy St. Patty's Day

Ugh...I am tired, frustrated, and ....

I am beyond my wits end...with life.

Where does one begin...okay...too much thinking. Lets start with Friday...Mich take Lily Anne to Doctor for follow-up to ear infections (notice plural...). We finally made it off meds and 14 days without a ear infection. Doctor said her ears look wonderful. HOORAY! (copay $25)

Saturday we enjoy to wonderful weather with a walk and backyard fun. Dinner with friends...however, our living room TV decides it totally does not want to work. I seriously it had a mind of it own. Mich and Greg look at it and it cut off for good. NADA. The TV is 3 years old! okay...so with just talked.

Sunday...5:15am! Lily Anne wakes. Unusual .. She is going completely nutty...so I feed her a bottle...then she is back out again. Alrighty...until 10:30am. So...only to wake up to a stopped up nose. Well...so the day just goes down hill. She runs a lovely temp of 102, cranky, and just general yuck. So, off we go to the after hours at the peds office. Goody, our Doctor is on call. He does a good check on her....No flu, No ear infections, and a blood count which came back saying she had a viral. Meaning hello it is a cold. (Copay $25)

Monday...4;30am awake bottle, sleep...Mich has the day off so he stayed home with her. Well...her fever broke. But her schedule is way out of wack. God, love him...but calling me everytime you do something to her while I am at work. So, I see him calling me (we have caller ID)...thinking okay Mich, I totally do not do this to you while you are at work! only to hear this..."Lisa...I am at a loss, I do not know what to do. She woke up hot as ever took her temp 103.7, feed her a bottle thinking it would help and it was a fluke. But when I took her temp after her bottle it was 104." Mich go the doctor's office..I will meet you there.

Seriously! I am stressed out by now for sure... Doctor does the normal check..."Well, Lily Anne i do not know how you can do it...but you have a ear infection that was not there yesterday." I am just as shocked. WONDERFUL! So, Doctor says if we get another ear infection, we have to go to a ENT for tubes. Alrighty, now another $25 and cost of drugs....hopefully we are on a good road.

(there needs to be a rule on copays...if you visit the doctor TWICE in LESS than 24 hours....it should only be ONE copay!) $75 to the doctor office in one weekend...I should own a chair at least.

Monday night was horrible! She was hard to get down...but finally gave up at 8:40pm. Only to wake up SCREAMING at 12:30AM. After rocking her...with no success, Mich came in to try. Nope...we continued to SCREAM...until 4:35AM. Mich and I decided to give her a bath...yes at 4:30AM. She loves the bath more than anything. She was calm finally! I fixed a small bottle hoping it would work...Yup. There was peace...only to be followed by the alarm clock at 6:15am.

Mich had to work (I felt horrible for him)...I stayed home. Last night was alright...woke up at 3am feed, rock, rock, sleep...

I am so exhausted from life... My parents are coming this weekend to give us a date on Saturday. I told my mom on the way to work...can she watch her most of the day Saturday and evening...I would like to go to a party and shopping...then a date. She was all excited...I am so thankful!

oh and to add to the joys of life...AF decided to show a whole week early! Thank you AF you are truly wonderful!

Finally...she let me take a photo......

The daily guess work of a baby:

Food, Bottle, clothing, toys, naps, what to decide....

Food: Lily Anne is NOT a huge eater...so I struggle everyday on what to feed her. We are finally up to 3 meals a day. One night she loves a meal and I think wow we have made a break through only to findout at the next mealtime she hates everything. Ugh...it is so fustrating.

Bottle: How many per day or how many ounces? This is a joke in our house lately (about as much as food)... She ate for weeks 4 botttles at 8ozs. Well, now she is changing yet again on me. Saturday - 3 bottles (during the day) at 5 ozs, then bed time the full 8oz. Sunday - 2 bottles maybe 6 ozs? the bed time the full 8 oz again. Thus wasting some expensive formula...which is not my worry here. I noticed on her daily sheet at daycare...generally gets 2 bottles...but yesterday it was 1 1/2 bottles. um..okay now I am guessing here in this category too?

Clothing: Okay...this is a big decision...she has so many clothes (the flipside of a having a girl) to choose from each day. It is like picking something for me to wear. She is super cute in everything. Why must clothing makers have way more cute girly stuff? Then to top the decision process it is hairbows and shoes. Although I am still managing to get her dressed everyday.

Toys: This is a new category. She loves everything about it. I have found lots to get her involved but her ultimate toy is our dog Zoe. She loves her...she crawls after her laughing. Zoe on the other HATES Lily Anne chasing her. But I have 1 wicker cube of toys, a bucket of rings, and basket of rattles and pop-links. All three will be emptied out by the end of playtime. As long as she grab it, put it in her mouth, lights up, or makes funny noises it is a winner.

Naps: She is a good napper most days at home unless we are not feeling well. At daycare, she is so nosey in what is going on that naps at all over the place. I am not complaining. But I never know until the moment comes...

Time flies in our household. I am completely amazed how we have made it with Lily Anne the past 7 months. She is getting so big and such lively one. Last night was a great example...We got home unloaded the car. I put her in the middle of the living room with lots of toys, take off my jacket and sit down to play with her. Only to watch her crawl off away from me. What??? Do I stink? Am I no fun? How and when did she become independent?